Overview
Cuoris is the type of guy you want in your circle if you're fake, and the type of guy you'd rather avoid if you're not. It's a secret to a lot of people excluding his close ones -- but Cuoris is the recipe for disaster. A true bundle of chaos -- between his frequent excursions at the bar, and what ensues following those, it's as to wonder how this man hasn't been caught by anyone else than his direct close friends.
But don't be fooled - he plays a double-role, which helps a lot in his high popularity! Switching masterfully from a full-blown facade of cliché romantism that all the girls and the guys fall for to quite the fucked up individual, it surely helps that his looks have handed away everything to him ever since his youngest age. People crave that strange face of his!
And, ah, despite it all, when he lost his two closests - macaroni & scalene - he... wait, did he even change?
No, because he definitely wasn't in the wrong! OH, and -- he never is.
Background
Cuoris originally started off as a nobody -- much like anyone of his flavor -- but he's always been quite insightful. He caught the marionette of Life straight by the strings, and made it move with his will. All along the way, he's had his closest friend, starlum -- which he calls macaroni, either affectionately or as a mockery - not even she knows; and they've been inseparable. He kind of found himself starting engineering studies, not by passion or anything, but - macaroni was doin' just that, and, ehh. He had no other life plans, so why not follow her around, like she's done with him? He met a triangle named 'scalene' there. And, ohhhhh boy! Were they weird! Yet, he... can't tell what it was, but something about them... it didn't fail to awake something in him.
Though, once the same, always the same, right? They all were a thing, but everything and life is temporary -- it definitely isn't his fault none of them can't handle a taste of some real thinking. Welcome to the Real World!
Personality
Cuoris is quite the party guy, although some would argue he's a complete turn off half of the time -- well, to them he'd argue that he is and has always been the life of the Party! Basically -- you've probably understood by now, but he's more of a self-persuasion prince than any kind of "king of the party".
taking a trip down memory lane
i remember...
The first time I had Bombay Sapphire. How refreshing! I was... let's see... sixteen? seventeen? I kinda forgot, to be frank. Those aren't the most delightful details, no -- It all lays in the party that was goin' on that night!
macaroni was here, with me, as usual -- I'm sure she had fun, too. Someone offered her a drink, as far as I remember; but by then, she had a lot to drink already, and, with a weird look she glanced at the bottom of her drink, and slid it my way. I chug it down, and uh- I kinda passed out, afterwards. I... that retelling feels a little weird, putting it that way -- don't you imagine things. These two last elements weren't linked in any way. Who would want to do that to good ol' Maca?
i recall...
Before our relationship, I was passing by scalene one time, and, uh- surprised them drawing some arrow-shaped guy. Jokingly, I asked them if they were "drawing their type in men" -- and they glanced at me with the weiiiiiiiirdest look! Nooooo way! Like, that guy was so visibly bad looking and, and- scalene's a really good artist, that we can't deny. That could only mean they purposely drew him THAT ugly!
I stood right there and wondered if I still had my chances with them, you know. since like. i'm. y'know? not ugly? Thankfully, we all know I clutched 'em anyway.
i reminisce about...
Oh, many, many things! Haha, it'd be incredibly hard to choose just one nice memory! Hmmm... let's see. Well, any of my, um, multiple achievements would probably the go-to. Or, you know, one of my flings? I dunno, I'm not sureeeeeee...
mindset
behind a boasting of overconfidence, lays the true cuoris: an insecure man looking for constant validation from others -- and doing so in the worst ways possible. Ironically, his urge for validation does not cancel out his clear 'god complex'-like traits and his need to be discreetly awful to some, as to feel bigger. You'll never be able to fault this man, 'cause he's got the hang of it already. If he fucks up in a way where the faulty one could also be you to some of the outside world's eyes -- he will always win the argument, and secure his spot as the public's beloved.
Relationships
starlum - strong dislike (ex-friend, not in contact)
That girl, what a bore! She used to be my best friend, she was my first best friend, too! Yet, a snap back to reality is all it took for her to give up on me?! It's been years we haven't talked, has it? Her loss! I've only ever been here when she needed me. If she'd rather go harass Metriya instead, that's on her. I doubt she ever got something outta that. What a freak!
"Honestly, I think macaroni just looks like actual macaroni at this point. Look at her bland yellow appearance! They're the same!"
scalene - never meant to work (ex-lover, not in contact)
To scalene, Cuoris was their first Love; to Cuoris, scalene was, well, one of his loves. He lost count. But, despite it all -- there was something different with them- yeah, further than just "they're an engineer with no arms". Their soul was different. Was it the probable large amount of fucked up stuff they went through? That had always left Cuoris puzzled. He, who had it all handed over to him- could he truly understand the life of someone for who it wasn't the case?
The last night they spent together, that he swore never to mention to anyone -- it convinced him.Although we were never meant to work, there was something about us -- that i'll probably find in someone else, either way. There's a first time for everything... I should probably up my standards.
"Such violence! scalene... save me from that vicious monsteeer!"
trivia
- Cuoris was created at the same time as Macaroni. Similarly to Macaroni, he wasn't initially meant to be a main character.
- Cuoris' first ever artwork dates back to April 19th, 2025.
- Cuoris wasn't initially planned as an anti-villain/bad person. He was initially just the "love interest guy" in Scalene's life, with no further intentions than just having fun. After misdescribing him to a friend, they saw him as abusive and i thought "oh you're onto something"
- Cuoris' favorite cocktail is "Sex on the Beach". He's a sucker for anything peachy!
- Cuoris' name comes from "Cuore", 'Heart' in italian; and '-is', a frequently used suffix.
- Cuoris has absolutely no fashion sense - he's the type of guy to wear a beanie with a suit.
- There's a specific bar Cuoris has spent most of his time in, so much that he often gets dedicated price reductions nowadays.
- I hate Cuoris and want him dead. (ok)
ribbons
for credits and further meanings of the following ribbons, visit this page.
other - author notes
this guy is SUCH an asshole i can't willingly give him any clear neurodivergency. He's just THAT bad. He would be a bad rep in EVERYTHING. oh i hate his ass sooooo much. but he's fun to write. why is it always the bad guys. they say "bad guys score all the girls" but all this one did is score my autistic urge to write him being despicable. god bless